so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
