what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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