My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
