There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
