your thong is hanging out like whoa
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
