For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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