I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
