people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
