sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
