What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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