haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
