If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
