It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
