He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
