I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
