Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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