seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We are two peas in an std pod
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
