3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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