what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
this is an emotional support booty call
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
