Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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