the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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