I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
