omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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