Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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