Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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