Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
