am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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