So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
