a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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