do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
