this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
