Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
