i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
