We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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