Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
