he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
