Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Drake has all the answers
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
