ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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