I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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