My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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