Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
