I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
do herpes really smell.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
