This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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