Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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