Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
