Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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