Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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