very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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