it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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