By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you never un-have a 4some
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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